A couple grapes short of a fruit salad...

I don't know if the stars are in a funny alignment or if it's a full moon or what, but these patients are driving me nuts! My job consists of answering the phone and transferring it to the appropriate party. So I talk to almost every one that calls this office. And there are two people today who have pissed me the eff off.

The first one was a woman who needed directions to our office. First of all it annoys me when people call and say, "I need directions." Um, okay, from where??? There are about a million different ways to get to our office from any part of town. Use your head people, think before you speak!!! Anyway this dumb bitch (yes I said bitch, cause that's what she WAS) called and needed directions. Of course I had to ask her where she was coming from, so she told me, and she was really only about a block away, but I needed to know which direction she was traveling in (ie north, south, etc.) so that I could tell her which way to turn. She snapped at me, "I don't know where I am or what direction I'm heading!" Well, for those of you that aren't from here or have never been here, Colorado Springs is like the the last place you would ever get lost. It sits at the bottom of the Rocky Mountains (which are west)...so that is a huge indicator as to which direction you are traveling. They are always west and they will always be west, so as long as you passed third grade geography you should be able to figure out which way north or south are. So then I asked her if the mountains were in front of or behind her. "Ma'am, you are confusing me, I don't know what the mountains have to do with anything!" So I then explained that the mountains are west and in order for me to give her accurate directions I need to know which way she is traveling. So, after we got that all sorted out, and she seemed to understand how to get here (she was less than a block away) we hung up. She called back. THREE times!!!! She needed directions on how to get into the parking lot (I am seriously not kidding) and where to go once inside the building, after I had told her a few times that we are in suite 200. And she wanted to know which floor that was on. Um, all suites starting with a 2 are on the second floor...duh! I am assuming that she was capable of opening her car door and walking through the parking lot into the office, but that might have been too difficult.

So then the second genius to call our office within an hour of us opening was this man who hadn't taken a dump in 3 days! Oh my God, call the FBI! And he went on, and on, and on about it! So I explained that the person he needed to talk to was in with patients and I couldn't interrupt her unless it was an emergency. His mommy called back. This man is 50 friggin years old! My co-worker then explained that due to patient confidentiality he would have to call himself. What she really should've told her was that since he needed his mommy to make his calls for him, she should give him an enema and wipe his ass for him too! Those two have called, oh about seven times today, and it's not even lunch-time.

Wow, I am SO ready for this day and week to be over! I seriously do not have the patience to deal with these dumb-asses!