The Angry Army Wife

Worst Week EVER

2009-12-05T09:10:00.000-08:00

So this week has sucked ass in a major way! Let me give you the run down on why I hate life this week....

1. Hilary left..'nuff said.
2. It took me three hours to drive back from Denver in snow and rush-hour traffic.
3. Got a speeding ticket less than five miles from my house.
4. One of my dogs has diarhea, and it's too cold to leave her outside so I have had to clean up multiple messes. The other one is limping and I think she is depressed. And the third one never knows what the hell is going on.
5. I think my baby has colic.
6. My friend passed away from cancer.
7. There is a rumor that Aaron might get extended.

I am so ready for this week to be over, and I hope next week is way more positive!

There really aren't words....

2009-12-05T08:41:00.000-08:00

I just don't understand why life is so unfair. I found out yesterday that a friend of mine passed away on Thanksgiving. She was 16 and developed cancer a little over a year ago. She had her whole life ahead of her, but it was stolen. She never experienced a prom, graduation, wedding, or being a mother....I don't even know if she ever experienced love or a first kiss. These are all the things most little girls day-dream about, but her time ran out before she was old enough to really live her life. She was such a sweet, wonderful, fun girl. I used to visit her when she was sick and we would go to a movie on a good day, or play Guitar Hero (she was so much better than me!). She had told me that her cancer was in remission, and that's the last I heard. I had no idea that it had come back and spread to most of her major organs. I hadn't been to visit her since Hannah's birth, and I truly regret that. She was so excited about me having a baby girl, and she never got to meet her. She was a wonderful person, and she will be missed. Rest in peace dear, sweet Lindsey.

I love this girl!

2009-11-21T22:47:00.001-08:00

I just want everyone to know how much I love and adore my bff, Hilary! We've known each other since middle school and became really close while "working" at Wendy's...I really think we did more bull-shitting than working, but whatever. We lived together one summer while we were in college, we attended each others weddings (which were two days apart), and she has traveled many many miles to be with me and support me in Aaron's absence. She is just one of those friends that you only come across once in a lifetime. A true friend that is there through thick and thin, and can always make you smile. She has a song for every daily event and can cook like nobody's business (btw...I really want some of that apple pie!). She is truely caring, but won't hesitate to put someone in their place!

I chose to make her Hannah's Godmother because she is all of this to me and so much more. We have a million memories and inside jokes, and I hope we continue to make many more through the years. I can't wait to see what new adventures we encounter! She is my best friend, and I love her!

Boop Boop

2009-11-21T15:58:00.000-08:00

We did it! We finished our first 5K! Some of it was up-hill, which totally sucked! But we both pushed through and finished together!

Christmastime

2009-11-19T22:07:00.000-08:00

I am SO looking forward to putting up my Christmas tree! I am in the Christmas spirit in a big way...probably because it has already snowed a few times and snow reminds me of Christmas. This will be the first year that I haven't put up my tree with Aaron since we have lived together. That makes me sad. I miss him.

One of those days...

2009-11-18T17:44:00.000-08:00

Let me start by saying that I got NO sleep last night! Hannah got a shot yesterday and it made her super cranky. She was up alllllll night! She finally went to sleep at about seven o'clock and allowed me to sleep til almost noon (thank God!).

Then I was making dinner and the oven caught on fire! Nothing big, but still....you know it's always something.

And someone needs to tell Curt Leonhardt that he needs some manners. I missed a call from this person, so I called the number back; just in case it was important. Whomever answered giggled, said something I couldn't understand, and then hung up on me! So, I called the number back and no one answered. Naturally, I left a nasty message on their voicemail and told them to quit being a bitch.

I hope nothing else strange happens to me today, and I hope that I get a reasonable amount of sleep tonight!

P.S. I haven't gotten many responses on my Bows post. I need advice on the naming of my bowtique so I can get it up and running! Your opinions would be greatly appreciated!

Getting close

2009-11-15T14:38:00.000-08:00

The Turkey Trot is next Saturday....as in six days from today. I ran this afternoon and my Nike+ said I ran 3.02 miles. If you would've asked me if I could run that far a few months ago, I would've said no. I bought a jogging stroller so I can keep up with this running when Hil goes back and I no longer have a live-in babysitter.

We are also getting close to Aaron coming home....less than 90 days! Ahhhh! I can't believe it! And I have so much planned for the next few months that I know time will fly by (thankfully). He called yesterday morning and Han was awake so I let him hear her making her little squeaky baby noises. He told me that he had received the pictures of her that I sent, and I asked him if he thought she had changed much. When he answered he started crying. Oh my God it broke my heart! I have only heard that man cry three times. But it also makes me happy to know that he loves her so much. What a wonderful husband and daddy he is! I am so thankful that I have stuck by him during the bad times, as he has me. I couldn't imagine my life without him. This is exactly where I want to be.

Bows

2009-11-13T22:07:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite things about having a little girl is being able to put bows on her! The bigger the better! So, I have been making bows to match her outfits, and I have decided to open an online boutique and make custom bows that people can order. Hilary and I brainstormed about what the name of my 'bowtique' should be and we came up with The Pink Banana Bowtique. Pink cause it's my favorite color and Banana because that is often what we call Hannah. So, I googled it to see if there is another business with that name. There is.....and it's an adult bookstore! But I think that the name is soooo cute and I still want to use it, even though it's a conflict of interest. So, should I use it anyway, or think of something else. Anyone have a suggestion?

Here are some of the bows that I have made:

pictures

2009-11-12T13:24:00.000-08:00

Is anyone else having problems uploading pictures to their blog? If you know what the problem is or how to fix it, please let me know! I have pictures that I want to share!

He loves me, he loves me not....

2009-11-11T21:01:00.000-08:00

He loves me!!!!! I recieved these beautiful flowers from the hubs yesterday

Awwww, isn't he sweet! But the best part was was the card, which reads, "Love you tons. I can't wait to come home to my two girls!! Love, Aaron." And it was for no reason at all, just because he loves me so much! How did I get so lucky?!

Stalkers

2009-11-07T17:54:00.000-08:00

Apparently I am pretty popular to crazy-ass people in 2009. I have not only one stalker, but two.

This guy that I dated briefly while I was in the Navy has tried to friend me on every social networking site known to man. I block him, and then he makes a new account just to send me another request! Get the hint psycho! I don't want to be your effing friend!

So for all of my stalkers, current and future, this card is for you (I would send it but I don't want to waste the $2 on a creeper).

Courtesy of Etsy.

97ish days

2009-11-06T21:41:00.000-08:00

Wow! I guess since Hannah has come home, time has really snuck up on me. In less than 100 days Aaron will be home! I just cannot believe that this year has gone by so fast and the deployment is almost over! Now I just hope that he doesn't get extended like last time. I seriously doubt it, but it is the army we are talking about here.

Unwanted

2009-10-28T18:37:00.000-07:00

I have had some unwanted visitors on my page. So, since people cannot mind their own business I guess I have no choice but to make my blog private.

If you would like to continue to have access to my page (and why wouldn't you, because I'm freaking hilarious) please send me your email address.

Thank you and have a good day....except you (and you know who you are), I hate you and you need to go away!

100

2009-10-25T23:01:00.000-07:00

Questions:

How does it feel having her home?
Amazing! Having to visit your daughter in the hospital blows. I feel more like a Mom now. It's great.

Do you get overwhelmed taking care of her on your own?
Not yet. Hilary has been helping. I am just tired. REALLY tired. I think if I were working I would be a lot more stressed.

How did you two decide when to have children or is Hannah just a surprise blessing?
I got pregnant in 2007 (not really by accident, but not really on purpose either). We lost that baby, and then decided that we really wanted one. So we "tried" for almost a year and then conceived her right before he left for deployment. She is a blessing that happened on purpose. : )

What is one thing you like about deployment (yes I know that may sound strange...)?
I guess I would have to say that the best benefit is the money. We paid off a lot of debt this year, if we hadn't done that I wouldn't be able to be a stay-at-home-mommy.

If you could be on a reality show, which would it be and why?
The Simple Life. Those girls look like they had fun.

What would you do if Coach didn't exist? Cry? :( that would be a sad, sad day.
Yes, it would. I would probably have some other favorite type of bag. Maybe Louis Vuitton.

Other than a trophy-wife, (lol) if you could be anything, what would you be and why?
Probably a model. Not that I am anywhere nearly as thin as they are. But I guess if we are dreaming, I would have a perfect body and eat the perfect diet and get some boobs, so then I could be one. I'm not sure why, I just always wanted to do that.

What was your favorite part of the navy?
The respect. When you tell people that you are an active duty female, they treat you differently. And I know Aaron was always proud of me for doing it. I miss that.

What's the best job you've ever had?
Not the type that pays in cash. Army wife and mom. Defiantly the most rewarding.

What was your favorite part of growing up in Franklin?
Being able to leave and not looking back. Lol. Probably starting kindergarten with the same people we graduated with, not many people can say that. What was yours?

What was the best part of high school?
Co-op. And us eating lunch at Wendy's/Sonic/McDonald's. That was my favorite. Funny that those are still the same places we eat lunch.

Love

2009-10-24T00:00:00.000-07:00

This little girl stole my heart.

My next post will be my 100th...so for the sake of traditions, ask any and all the questions you want!

Finally!

2009-10-19T22:44:00.001-07:00

Hannah came home yesterday!

I now get to enjoy being a sleep-deprived Mommy. Someone once told me that the last good nigh of sleep I got was the night I conceived, I think they were right! I stayed over night with her last night so the nurses could make sure that I am capable of caring for her. I got one hour of sleep, literally. I'm so worried about her reflux and breathing. Maybe tonight I will be able to relax a little more. I hope, anyway!

Lucky

2009-10-17T23:05:00.000-07:00

I just need to brag a little. I have a beautiful baby girl, who I was blessed to meet two months earlier than expected, wonderful friends who support me and love me to no end, and a husband who loves and adores me even more with each passing day. My life is more complete than ever before, and I couldn't ask for anything more from life right now.

Running

2009-10-14T12:12:00.000-07:00

So, as some of you may know because you follow Hilary's blog we have been doing the program "From couch to 5K." Today is day 5 for us. We both bought new running shoes and are dedicated to it because we want to run the Turkey Trot at Ft Carson in November. I am determined to get my pre-pregnancy body back and secretly I want to be able to out run my husband when he gets back from deployment. He is always giving me a hard time for not being able to "PT" like I did when I was in the Navy. I am a very competitive person, and just wanting to be better than him is enough motivation for me!

Hilary said...

2009-10-11T13:28:00.000-07:00

"Pssssh, mother-fuckin brrrrrr man!"

Hahaha, it was so funny! And she was right because it snowed and is like 20 degrees outside. It went from summer to winter and completely missed fall! Boooo fall is my favorite season!

Time to break out the scarf and gloves.

Laundry

2009-10-06T10:13:00.001-07:00

Yesterday Hilary and I did laundry. It consisted of tee shirts, hoodies, and sweat pants. We don't care if we look good these days, because frankly we don't have anyone to look good for. And we like to be comfortable. End of story.

Get you own stuff

2009-10-05T10:09:00.000-07:00

My husband has this habit of "borrowing" my stuff. I thought the definition of "borrowing" was to ask to use someones belongings and then return them in a reasonable amount of time. His definition of borrowing is taking my stuff and doing whatever he pleases with it. Sometimes I get it back, sometimes I don't. It's really more like stealing if you ask me.

One good example is my IPOD. Before he got his own he would take mine when he went to the gym or for a run, so therefore he would sync it with his songs (we don't like the same type of music). He renamed my IPOD Billinz Shit. Okay that's all fine and good, except that I don't know how to change it, and it isn't his shit, it's mine.

Anyway, he eventually got his own IPOD. Some how or another the dog got ahold of the cord you use to charge and upload it. She chewed up the corner, but it still works most of the time. When he left for deployment he somehow managed to get my cord and leave me with the jacked up one. Um, excuse me, I didn't leave mine out to get chewed on!

So my point is, quit "borrowing" my stuff cause when I want to use it I can't ever find it!

My Baby Girl

2009-10-01T23:42:00.000-07:00

Is growing so fast! She is already five weeks old and weighs five pounds, one ounce. I can't believe how fast time is already going. I'm sure the next 17 years and 11 months will fly by too.

Still no word on when she gets to leave the hospital, but I hope it's soon. I can't wait to have her home.

Here are some new pictures of Hannah that Hilary took with her new camera.

Friends

2009-09-30T10:26:00.000-07:00

I love seeing old friends, and I currently have two of them visiting me right now! Hilary flew into Denver Airport Saturday night, and she is staying here with me to keep me company and help with Hannah when she comes home. Monday my friend Kelly came to see me. We were stationed together in the Navy and I haven't seen her in almost four years! So, we've all been hanging out, as well as Kelly's son Logan. It kinda feels like we're single again, living in a dorm/barracks. It's been tons of fun and I really enjoy catching up with both of my wonderful friends!

Kelly and me

The best things in my life

2009-09-23T20:36:00.000-07:00

So I suppose I should give an update to my life, other than the bull-shit drama.

Aaron left Monday (while this is not a good thing, he is one of the best parts of my life...just to clarify). It was the hardest goodbye that we have ever had. Even more so than when I had only been Mrs. Billings for a month and he was going away for the first time, and we had no idea what to expect from a deployment, or when I had found out less than 24 hours previously that we were going to have a baby. I think the reason for this is because while he was home we bonded. We became parents, who's number one concern is now their child. And no one else in the whole world feels about Hannah the way we do. It's like some sort of connection that we can only have with each other. And I love him differently too. Like as in he's the father of my child soft-of way. He gave me this gift, my perfect little Hannah, that no one else could have ever given me. Don't get me wrong, I am still in love with his as my husband, but seeing him in this different role made me fall in love with him all over again. Seeing the look on his face when he holds his baby girl, and knowing that he also has her best interest in mind -- just like me. And after everything that we went through, with the pre-term labor and him coming home on emergency leave and him seeing his daughter be born. Plus the whole NICU thing. I just don't know how I would've handled all that without him here. When the doctor told me that I was in fact in labor I started crying; I was scared. I didn't know what to expect or how healthy my baby would be. And while the doctor was talking to me, prepping me for what was about to happen, Aaron reached over and grabbed my hand, as if to say, "It's okay, no matter what happens, I am here; and I will always be here." And that small act reassured me and I was ready to move on with the delivery. And when we were saying our goodbyes I also felt sad because I felt sorry for him. He is having to leave the two people who he loves most in this world to go back to a place that he hates. And miss the first five moths of his child's life. No pictures or videos can replace him not being here. No matter how hard I try to capture every moment in her life, it's still not the same. He can't hug her or kiss her. He can't feed her her bottle. He can't put her to bed at night. It just breaks my heart to think of what he's going through. Honestly, I don't know if I would ever be able to do that. He is a much stronger person than me. So, yes I miss him, I miss his presence and lying next to him at night...all the little things. But, his love is worth the wait.

The other best thing in my life is, of course, little miss Hannah. Not much has changed with her situation, other than she was moved to another room in the NICU. This was done for staffing purposes, and making sure that the nurses don't get too loaded down with more babies than they can handle. Her room now has a view! I do have to say that so far, I don't like this pod as well as I did the other one. The nurses just don't seem as friendly. I already had to complain because one of them gave me attitude (after the terrible day I had Monday with Aaron leaving and the stupid bitch trying to sabatoge my life I just was NOT in the mood). We are working on breast-feeding, and that seems to be coming along okay. She latches on and sucks, but it is still a lot of work for her, so we just have to keep practicing every day. All I know is that I cannot wait to bring her home. It will be great to be here with her and do our own thing without the nurses breathing down my neck. She weighs over four pounds now, and she is starting to fill-out and not look so skinny. No word yet on when she might come home, but I don't think it will be more than a couple of weeks. I will be sure to keep you posted.

Obsessed

2009-09-23T19:25:00.000-07:00

In reference to the previous blog that I posted:

Stop stalking my blog! Since you no longer want to be my friend (nor do I want to be yours) stop reading things about my life. The fact that you care enough to go to my blog multiple times a day and read what people are saying about you proves even more that you are guilty. I see everyone who visits my page and how often they visit it, so GO AWAY!

I'm still in shock

2009-09-22T09:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday something horrible happened. Someone that I used to be friends with tried to destroy my marriage and my friendship with my best friend all in one blow. I don't feel like going into the details of this matter. This is not the first time that she has betrayed me either.

All I have to say is that, in order to hurt me, you must be smarter than me. And she is not. She is an evil person, not capable of having feelings or compassion. Or a conscience for that matter.

You are a heartless person. May God have mercy on your soul, and may he also protect you if we ever cross paths again.

woohoo

2009-09-17T08:55:00.000-07:00

So Hannah got to move out of her incubator yesterday! Now all she has to do is wake up for all of her feedings and be able to finish her entire bottle - which she did once for me yesterday. I bet she'll be home in two, maybe three weeks. Too bad Daddy won't be here at that time.

moving right along

2009-09-14T21:33:00.001-07:00

Tonight I got to feed my baby girl for the first time! This is a HUGE step for little miss Hannah, it's one step closer to coming home. She ate a little over half of her feeding, which is really good for the first time. Tomorrow we might get to try nursing. It's the little things that make life great!

Prissy Pants

2009-09-12T12:06:00.000-07:00

I can say that my daughter gets her demanding attitude honestly...from me! I was holding her and all of a sudden she threw a FIT! Her diaper had been changed, so it wasn't that. She wasn't in some weired position, so I knew she was comfortable. I re swaddled her so she could feel secure. She was screaming, arms flailing!!! Finally I stuck her binki in her mouth. ***Ding ding ding, we have a winner! All that for a pacifier!

Whew, I have my work cut out for me!!!

This picture was taken when she was one day old, just so you can see just how small 3 lbs 1 oz is.

rub-a-dub-dub

2009-09-11T22:45:00.001-07:00

Hannah's in the tub!

I got to give her a real bath (apposed to sponge baths) for the first time tonight! She wasn't really a fan of being wet...

All clean and ready for bed!

THE best news!

2009-09-11T15:31:00.000-07:00

So I was talking with Hannah's nurse yesterday, and she told me that Hannah could be coming home in as little as three weeks! It all depends on how well she does with eatting from a bottle/breast. She has to be able to eat and gain weight...some babies born early have a hard time with it because sucking can be exhausting for them, so they don't eat enough to gain weight. So lets hope she does well with it and is able to come home sooner rather than later (at the most it will be six weeks).

Hannah wearing clothes for the first time.

bow-chica-wow-wow!!!

2009-09-08T19:36:00.000-07:00

As you know, my husband has been deployed for the past six months (and some change...but who's counting??). Now he's home on R&R so naturally we want to be intimate after half a year of abstinence. And since I just had a baby, it isn't quite what it used to be...as in I feel like we're in high school because it can't go much further than "heavy petting," so to speak. So, we decided that we are going to try to take it to the next level before he goes back for five more months. I feel up to it, so why not? But since I don't want any more babies any time soon, and I haven't seen the doctor about contraceptives yet, we bought condoms. This is not something that I thought I would be doing for the rest of my life, since I am married, and don't really care for them anyway. And Aaron and I have never used them since we have been together. So anyway we go to Walgreen's today and I was like, okay...go get them. He refused. Seriously?! He is 25 years old, and too embarrassed to buy condoms! That just cracks me up, which is why I chose to share this story. So I bought them, something that I have not done in nearly a decade. There are so many different types, and they are expensive! Haha, I hope that is the last time I venture down the condom aisle.

NICU day 13

2009-09-07T20:43:00.000-07:00

Hannah is doing good. She has gained two ounces, and now weighs 3.3 lbs. She did have the oxygen taken out for about a week, but had to have it put back in today. The doctor said it's normal for preemies to have it, especially with the altitude here. She is having a little bit of reflux and pukes up her food sometimes, which is also normal for preemies because their stomach muscles don't work as well as full-term babies. Hopefully that will improve and we can start to bottle feed her in another week. Right now she has a feeding tube, because preemies don't have the ability to suck, swallow, and breathe all at the same time. Overall she is doing good though and everyone seems to think she will be able to come home before her due date. I hope so, I can't wait to have her here and be able to hold her all the time. I miss her so much when I am away from the hospital.

She ain't what she used to be

2009-09-04T10:44:00.000-07:00

Giving birth is the most amazing thing ever. After all you are bringing another life, that you created, into this world. It's pretty cool. And I would go through it all over again, just to see that beautiful face looking up at me.

There are some things about it which suck though, in no particular order....

Such as:

1. An episiotomy...and the stitches that follow.
2. The seven extra pounds I acquired.
3. That one purple stretch mark on my creamy white belly.
4. Hemorrhoids.
5. No sex for six additional weeks (added to the six months of abstinence that I have already endured, and the five months that are to follow once the hubs goes back to Afghan).

Needless to say, between the stitches and hemorrhoids, sitting isn't as much fun as it used to be.

I love...

2009-09-01T15:39:00.001-07:00

My husband and baby girl. I love that Aaron is home and he was able to be present for the birth of our daughter. I love being with them, and nothing in the world makes me happier. I love that Aaron is a really good Daddy, and you can see how much he loves Hannah by the look on his face when he is with her. I am seriously in love with my life right now, the only things that could really make it perfect would be Hannah coming home from the hospital and Aaron not leaving for Afghistan again. Other than that, life is great, and I love it!!!!

Five Minutes

2009-08-30T21:42:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I have five minutes..literally to get you caught up on what's going on in my life.

Soooo, Tuesday night I was sitting in my hospital bed eating dinner when I began to have a dull back-ache and menstrual-like cramps. I thought that it didn't seem to be normal so I called my nurse who connected me with the fetal monitor. She came back within 15 minutes and told me that I was in fact having contractions three minutes apart. I called Aaron, who was at home assembling my glider for the nursery. He asked me what he should do. I told him that my guess was that he get his ass to the hospital quick, fast, and in a hurry because I was being taken to labor and delivery and I doubted that anyone would wait for him in the event that I needed a C-section. He got there in about 20 minutes, which is pretty fast considering the distance.

After I arrived in L&D the doctor checked my cervix and told me that I was dilated to 1 cm. That's not much so I was hoping that the contractions would stop and Hannah could continue growing inside for a little longer. She came back in an hour and I was dilated to 3 cm. I started crying because that meant that I was in fact in labor and was going to have a baby that day! I didn't get to take any of my birthing classes, and wasn't really sure what to expect, other than what Hollywood shows us in movies. The doctor asked if I was interested in getting an epidural, before she could get the sentence out of her mouth, I was like yes, please! And I've heard all kinda of bad stories about people "missing their window" and not getting one, so I wanted it as soon as possible. I got it within a half hour and spent the rest of the night with my friends coming and going and watching the monitor and saying how the contractions looked really bad on there and that they probably hurt like hell, but I couldn't feel anything from the waist down! I took a few naps here and there so I would be a little rested and a little before 0500 the nurse told me that I had finally dilated to 10 cm and that she was going to get the doctor. After the doctor got there she explained that when I felt a contraction (I could feel the pressure but no pain) I needed to push and hold it for as long as possible. I knew that my baby was small, so it shouldn't take more that a few pushes right? WRONG. I pushed for an hour. It was exhausting. I pushed so hard at the end that my eye sight became blurry. I do not know how people have normal sized babies. It was hard!

But at 0658 Hannah Erin Billings came into the world. And the moment I heard her cry I began to cry and they handed me my tiny little girl and I felt a love that I could've never imagined. It is a moment that I cannot describe. I got to see her for a brief moment and she was taken to the NICU where she will stay until she is able to come home, probably sometime in October. She's a fighter though, every day she gets stronger and she is able to breathe on her own. She is very active and alert. It's absolutely amazing to me.

I haven't forgotten

2009-08-30T09:53:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to write my blog about Hannah's birth, and that I haven't been keeping up with everyone else very well! I am so busy running back and forth to the hospital and trying to spend as much time with Aaron as I can before he has to leave again. Life is crazy right now, but I will get to it soon!

Operation: Healthy Baby...Mission Accomplished!

2009-08-26T21:00:00.001-07:00

She's here!!!!!!!

After 13 hours of labor my baby girl arrived at 0658 weighing 3 lbs and 1 oz, 15.75 inches long! I will post another blog with all of the details soon, but right now I am super busy and super tired....and of course I'll post pics!

Operation: Healthy Baby, Day 8

2009-08-25T10:44:00.000-07:00

Stillllllllllll nothing new. The doctor said that Hannah weighs 2 lbs 15 oz right now, which is a little small. They are going to check her growth in a few days to make sure that she's still putting on weight, and if not they may have to induce sooner than expected.

So Aaron went home yesterday to shower and let the dogs out and he came back wearing a sweater! Bahahaha! I was like, you do know it's August, right? I guess it is several degrees cooler here than Afghanistan and I keep my room a comfy 68 degrees! Everyone who comes in says its cold but I feel comfortable! I'm baking a bun so it makes my body temperature higher. But I thought it was hilarious!

Operation: Healthy Baby, Day7

2009-08-24T09:46:00.000-07:00

So, Aaron got here last night! It's almost unreal to see him! He had been traveling for four days and hadn't slept since he left. After we ate dinner, he crashed. Literally, one minute after his head hit the pillow I said his name and he didn't answer. He must've been exhausted.

But nothing else has changed. No baby yet. Tomorrow I hope to go on a tour of labor and delivery and talk to a nurse because I didn't have a chance to take my birthing classes yet. Hopefully that will make me feel a little more prepared.

Day 6 continued

2009-08-23T16:21:00.000-07:00

Aaron's here!!!!! Well, he's not here here but he's in Colorado Springs! One of my friends picked him up from the airport and he will be here shortly!!!!! Ahhh! It seems unreal, I can't wait to kiss him and look at him and hug him! It's great!

Operation: Healthy Baby, Day 6

2009-08-23T10:56:00.000-07:00

Nothing new. Which is good. I had a contraction when I was on the monitor last night, but I didn't feel it. And one in an hour is good. No baby coming yet! Which is good, because she needs to wait for Daddy, who still hasn't called and still isn't here. I just expect him to walk through that door any moment.

I have had lots of visitors, which has been keeping my occupied. It's so nice to have so many friends who care. I don't know what I would do without them. And Maggie got to visit too! They have pet visitation for pets over one year who are up-to-date on their shots and groomed. They have to be on a leash and supervised by whomever brings them. Sam brought Maggie to see me and she curled right up with me. I hope she gets to come back, because I miss my puggy wuggy!!!

Operation Healthy Baby: Day 5

2009-08-22T08:01:00.000-07:00

Update on Hannah: Nothing has changed, she is still intact and I am not having contractions. I can't feel her movement as well due to the lack of fluid, but according to the monitor she is moving around just fine. We are at 30 weeks and 4 days, and hoping to make it until 34 weeks.

Update on Aaron: No word from him yesterday or today so far. One of his soldiers (who is home for leave) and his wife came to visit last night. I told him what Aaron has said to me during our last conversation about his whereabouts, etc. Williams told me that he probably got put on a flight and didn't have time to call, and he suspects that he is somewhere over the ocean. I hope that he's right! The waiting and the unknown are killing me! I am so anxious for him to get here just in case I do go into labor. And of course seeing his face won't be so bad either lol.

My stay in the hospital has been pleasant so far. All the nurses are really nice, I have Wifi in my room and cable. AND I get room service, so the dining experience has been great! I pretty much have visitors from noon on every day. I have so many supportive friends that have really been there for me, I am blessed!

Operation: Healthy Baby, day 3

2009-08-20T07:58:00.000-07:00

Update on Hannah: Still no contractions! We are all hoping that she stays in for another four weeks. No signs of infection. Her heartbeat and movement are very strong on the monitor. Haven't see the Dr yet today. The nurses are all really nice, so far. Which is good cause I'm kind of a demanding bitch especially when stuck in a bed. They are earning their paychecks this week! HA!

Update on Aaron: It's not official, but Aaron's unit is trying to approve for him to stay here for an "open window" meaning that he can stay until I am well and able to care for myself. He seemed confident that they would approve it. Maybe this is a blessing is disguise since elections are about to start over there. Hannah is keeping her Daddy safe! You never know...God works in mysterious ways... So, anyway Aaron should be home by this weekend. I am happy to see him but it's hard to be excited due to the circumstances.

I'll keep you posted as things progress.

Scary turn of events

2009-08-19T21:49:00.000-07:00

So remember how I said that I have 10 weeks left of my pregnancy? Well, not anymore. At the most it will be 4.

After work yesterday I was walking back from the mailbox and my water broke. My friend Jenn took me to Evans Army Hospital and they did some tests and confirmed that it was my water and since I am not full-term I had to be sent to Memorial Hospital where they have a NICU. I was given two steroid shots for Hannah's lungs, and I have 24 more hours til they take effect. The doctor said that after that point if I start contracting (I haven't yet) they will not stop my labor because with no fluid in there, there is a big risk of infection. I have been pumped with all sorts of antibiotics. If she doesn't come on her own by 34 weeks they will induce.

I sent a Red Cross message to Aaron and he is talking to the commander about him coming home and possibly extending his R&R past two weeks.

Please pray for my family, I need a healthy baby girl and I so desperately need my husband here at this time.

And the countdown begins...

2009-08-18T08:13:00.000-07:00

I have reached 30 weeks of my pregnancy! That means only 10 more weeks to go. So instead of counting up like I have been doing I am now going to start counting down. And if I think of it in terms of how much time is left 10 weeks isn't long. It has only been 10 weeks since I found out that I'm having a girl, and that time has flown by! It's a little scary to think of actually. I still have quite a bit I need to do, but it is all mostly small stuff. I still have at least one baby shower left, so hopefully I will get some of the things that I still need! And in case any of you are feeling generous I am registered at Target and Babies R Us ; )

He <3's me!!!

2009-08-16T21:05:00.001-07:00

So today (day number 12) Aaron finally called! I was actually rather surprised to hear from him because I found out yesterday afternoon that the six day mission had been changed to 18 friggin days! Which would make a grand total of 21 days without talking to him since he called a few days before they left. One of Aaron's soldiers just got home for R&R and his wife was kind enough to text me to fill me in on that since I was clearly anxious about him calling. You can imagine how bummed I was to think of having to go another 10 days without talking to him. And you can also imagine how ecstatic I was when he called me today! I don't know how he got to call, nor did I ask (there's no point really since he can't give me details anyway), but I do know that hearing his voice for 30 minutes totally made my day, and was the perfect start to my week!

Six months down...

2009-08-15T08:50:00.000-07:00

Six months to go! We have finally reached the deployment hump! It's all down hill from here. AND he should be home for R&R in about 10 weeks! I really think the rest of the time is going to fly by. This first six months have gone by pretty fast and I think with all of the things that will be going on in the last part it will go by even faster!

I still haven't heard from him though...11 days! OMG! This really sucks and right now I am hating the army for not allowing me to talk to my husband. I was hoping that he would be able to call today, but it's looking slim because he usually calls by 1000.

Okay everyone, have a happy weekend!!!!

WTF

2009-08-14T13:48:00.000-07:00

So remember the blog that I wrote about USAA? Well someone left me this response:

Tricia Phillip, USAA Social Media said...
Hi-USAA here. It sounds like it was pretty frustrating to find out you'd have to pay $255 for a new windshield. Unfortunately because insurance is regulated by each state certain coverages may change when you move. On behalf of our members, especially the military and their families, USAA has been a longtime advocate of the optional federal charter concept. Should Congress pass legislation in support of an optional federal charter, we believe customers would have access to better, more uniform products and services at lower prices. If you’d like to get a quote for lowering your deductible for any future incidents, you can do so on usaa.com or call us at 1.800.531.8722. Before making a change, though, you may want to ask one of our advisors if the increase in premium that results from a lower deductible is in your financial best interest.

Okay, really??? Does someone at that company just sit around and google things about USAA in case someone is bad mouthing them? I found this to be really odd, and kinda creepy!

If it's not one thing...

2009-08-13T07:16:00.000-07:00

...it's another!

So my other little pug, Eddy, got his tooth knocked out! He has an under bite and his bottom teeth stick out, and it's the one right in the middle. So he looks like a redneck! I actually found the tooth and called the vet, but I guess that don't put animal teeth back in like they do human ones. I'm not exactly sure how it got knocked out, but I found it by the fence in our back yard. The neighbor's big-ass German Shepard and him constantly bark at each other through the fence. And that big mother-fucker is so heavy that when he jumps against the fence he knocks the boards loose. I think one of them must've hit Eddy in the face and knocked out his little tooth. Poor pug!

AND it has been nine days since I talked to my husband. This is the longest we have ever gone without communication, and I'm not too happy about it. He told me that they were gong on a long mission, so at least I was prepared not to hear from him, but that doesn't mean that I have to like it! Last time he was deployed we talked almost every day, and this time I'm lucky if he calls twice a week. This deployment sucks and I am ready for it to be over!

You suck, USAA!

2009-08-12T12:19:00.000-07:00

I want someone to please explain to me how my husband's truck got a huge two foot crack in the windshield while sitting in our driveway for two months!

Sunday, I decided to drive his truck to Lowe's since I haven't driven it in quite some time and I get in and there is a huge crack on the passenger side. I have no idea how it got there, because it certainly wasn't there the last time I drove it. So I thought okay, whatever I'll call the insurance company Monday and they'll pay to have it replaced. Boy, was I WRONG! I guess Colorado insurance policies don't cover glass 100% like they do in Kentucky and New York, where we grew up...naturally thinking it was like that every where. To go through the person who they recommend it will cost $255 to have the damned thing fixed. It will all be out of pocket because it's lower than our deductible, which is $500. And, if it gets broken again, like next week, we will have to pay for it all over again. So, what is the point of having insurance if they won't pay to fix things that are broken. Had I known that glass wasn't covered I would've had my insurance set up differently. This totally sucks! And, of course, things like this only happen when Aaron is gone, because I don't already have enough things to do as it is!

I am NOT currently accepting applications for new friends...

2009-08-11T07:48:00.000-07:00

Before you think, this girl is a bitch! Let me explain myself...

I do have lots of friends, probably more than I have ever had, spread far and wide across the United States, and even a few overseas. And I LOVE my friends! I make friends where ever I go. But when I meet someone new, and they know things about me that I obviously didn't tell them, it creeps me out. I guess we can thank Facebook and Myspace for that, but that's why my pages are set to private! So, how this person gained access to my page I will never know, but she knew I had been on a cruise and that I am pregnant with a girl....And her attitude about the whole thing was just weird...every other thing I said she would reply, "I know, I saw it on your page." So why is it that you're spending so much time on my page looking at my pictures??? You have kids, and your husband is deployed....I would think that you wouldn't have enough extra time on your hands to sit and study someone else's page. And by knowing all of this, did you think I would be impressed?? Well, I am not, I am just plain creeped out. So get a life and go do some housework or something. I didn't ask you to be my friend, so I don't really want you to think you are in fact my friend just because you think you know everything about me. I am good on friends right now, thanks.

Why do I torture myself?

2009-08-10T08:39:00.000-07:00

So, remember how I said that hanging blinds is a BITCH. Well, guess what, that status hasn't changed.

I got my electric bill Saturday....$205.36! Now, you might be wondering what my electric bill and window blinds have in common...let me tell you. The blinds in my bedroom broke a few months ago. My bedroom is on the east facing side of the house, where the sun rises, therefore my room gets very hot and uncomfortable in the morning when I am sleeping. So what do I do...go downstairs and turn the A/C down. I thought it might be a good idea to hang some blinds to prevent the sun from shining in so brightly, and hopefully reduce my energy cost. I went to Lowe's and bought some faux wood ones (they look just as nice but aren't as expensive!) and attempted to hang them. It's not really difficult, but it IS a pain in the ass! Hopefully I don't have to hang any more any time soon, cause it's just one of those things that I would rather Aaron did! HA!

But, they do look nice, and I didn't get hot this morning. So I guess they are serving their purpose.

Victory!

2009-08-08T14:56:00.000-07:00

I have, once again, learned something new in Aaron's absence.

My neighbor, Sam's husband is deployed as well. We spend a lot of time together eating dinner and hanging out so we have become really good friends. Anyway, she comes and rings my doorbell (remember the one I fixed lol) and says she can't start her car...luckily it was parked in her driveway and not the garage! Anyway, I was like, do you have jumper cables??? She did. So I hop in my car and pull it over into her yard. We read the instructions and made a call to my father-in-law, just to make sure we were doing it right before we started the cars. Voila! IT STARTED! Piece of cake! I swear, the things I have learned to do for myself since Aaron left. I amaze myself sometimes!!!

At last!

2009-08-06T14:45:00.000-07:00

I have reached my third (and final) trimester! I am officially 7 months pregnant.....only 80something days to go! I can hardly believe it. The time has just flown by, and I am hoping the last three months do as well too. Her room is 98% done and I could have a small children's store in her closet, with all of the clothes that it contains. 12 weeks to go, and counting...

So, as many of you can guess there are several reason why being pregnant while my husband is deployed sucks. Such as, no one to rub my feet and back, no one to go to the store at midnight because I drink milk like it's going to expire tomorrow, and want it right now, and as I have mentioned , having to do his normal household duties, and of course no sex when I have raging hormones!. But there are reasons that it doesn't suck.

1. Hair grows faster and thicker (and sometimes darker) while pregnant. No one sees my naked body but me, so I can deal with it for a few days longer than if he were here having to look at his hairy wife. I would constantly being shaving/tweezing/waxing something in fear of frightening him when we go to bed.

2. My body temperature is slightly higher, so I can crank up the A/C and don't have to listen to him complain about it...and I don't have to lay next to another body in bed, making it that much hotter.

3. I can sleep in whatever position is most comfortable for my bulging belly and take up the whole bed.

4. I can eat whatever, and whenever I want without having to worry about cooking for someone else. Or the fact that I have eatten the same thing for four days in a row because that's what I'm craving...and I don't have to care that he doesn't like it.

5. I have mood-swings and am cranky and irritable. The silliest things piss me off, so by the time he calls I have (usually) cooled off and we don't argue.

Honestly I would rather have him here, but sometimes it nice to do whatever I want whenever I want, because right now I'm pretty focused on myself, not gonna lie! I am growing a human, I think I am entitled to be a little selfish!

It's a small world.

2009-08-03T14:37:00.001-07:00

So I encountered the strangest coincidence Friday night while out to dinner with Sam. We went to this little Japanese restaurant to eat. I have never been to it before, but it's one of her fav's so I thought I would try it. It really was good! Anyway, so we sit down at our "table" which is one of those where the chef cooks your meal in front of you so you are sitting with other people you don't know as well. We were talking about her brother-in-law and how he is in Aaron's unit and they don't know each other,etc. And she said, "Yeah I asked him if he knew Billings." Well, the guy sitting next to me interrupted and asked if she had said her name was Billings, and I replied that no, it was my name. So then he asks if I am Aaron's wife. I was like WTF?! Who are you??

It turns out that he is in Aaron's unit and was home for R&R. But I mean, what a small world..of all people to sit next to at that particular moment. I find things like that fascinating. Anyway, I just thought I would share because I thought it was cool.

I mean really...

2009-07-30T10:43:00.000-07:00

This is exactly why I do not associate with the FRG; yesterday we received an email that there is an urgent meeting today, and they would like for everyone to attend. The meeting is at 1830 in the FRC building. That's all it said. Okay, what the fuck is the FRC building, and where is hell is it?

So I emailed the FRG leader back and asked her for the location. She said, "The easiest way for me to tell you is that it's by the houseing (that's how she spelled it) meeting."

Um, okay so that tells me NOTHING. Could I have an address or a building number or even a land mark nearby? Also, I don't live on post, so how would I know where anything pertaining to housing is? Seriously, how can you be the leader of anything when you can't even give more than 24 hour notice to an 'urgent' meeting and specific directions!? Her communication skills suck and I intend on letting someone know that in the future it would be helpful if someone with a little more intelligence was the one to give out important information.

So if any of you are familiar with Fort Carson, and could help me with this matter I would greatly appreciate it.

Amazing!

2009-07-29T12:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had a 3D/4D ultrasound done! It was so amazing to see my little princess and see her move around and all of her facial features! I think she looks so much like Aaron, especially to see his baby pictures from a few days old. But, for most of it she had her legs in front of her face playing with her toes, lol. We got a few good pictures, but I wanted to have a video made to send to Aaron, and for most of it you couldn't see much. The lady said I could come back on Saturday to have another one done for free since Hannah didn't want to cooperate lol.

It has finally happened.

2009-07-27T19:04:00.000-07:00

I weigh over 180 lbs. I am a tall gal, 5'10", with kinda large ASSets. So it's not really a surprise that I have reached this terrible number on the scale....but I hoped it would be a little later in my pregnancy. Like maybe the last week. The doctor has reassured me that my weight is normal and nothing to be concerned about, especially since it's summer and I am probably retaining water. Yay. That makes me want to sit here and cry (while I eat my brownie).

I'm not trying to toot my own horn...

2009-07-27T08:09:00.000-07:00

Okay, actually, yes I am!

In the five and a half months since my husband has been gone there are several of his normal household duties that I have had to take responsibility for. Here is the list of things that I have done with little or no help.

1. Successfully turn on sprinkler system (for more on this, please refer to this blog.)

2. Mow the grass bi-weekly.

3. Install new front porch light fixture (without electrocuting myself or catching anything on fire, might I add).

4. Remember to take vehicles in for regular maintenance.

5. Take the trash out to the curb every Tuesday night.

6. Paint baby Hannah's room. (And for all of you who want to throw your 2 cents in, my doctor said it was fine as long as I wasn't working with lead-based paint)

7. Learn how to operate the grill.

8. Put up the crib.

9. Put up new blinds in the baby's room (FYI, it was a BITCH) and hang curtains.

10. Empty large, heavy bag of dog food into container where we store it.

11. Refill water softener with salt pellets.

None of this may seem too terribly difficult to anyone else, but these are all the things that he would normally do, and I wouldn't have to lift my pretty little finger to help. So, I have managed to keep up with my normal duties, and now his as well. It defiantly keeps me busy when I'm not at my 40-hour-a-week-job. And I just wanted to say that I am proud of myself for doing it all, while being pregnant! I am also proud of the other military wives who manage to hold down the fort while their spouses are gone. Whether it be for a week, or a year and a half, kudos to you too for getting it all done and not running home to your Mommy!

Boredom at it's best

2009-07-24T10:47:00.000-07:00

I stumbled across the website called yearbookyourself.com, and I decided to have a little fun at my dear husband's expense!

1950

...these are similar to basic training glasses...

1952

1962

1964
...I love this bow tie...

1966

1968

...I think he has the same hair stylist as Chewbacca...

1970

...there's nothing like a man wearing a satin shirt...

1972 1974
1978
...same hairstyle his mom probably had that year...

1980

...I love Brillo pads...

1984
1986
1988
...you know mullets are SEXY...

1994

...I never dated a BROTHA...

2000

Thank you, Aaron, for helping me pass the time today at Front Range Orthopaedics.

I need....

2009-07-23T15:31:00.000-07:00

someone to tell me where I can have an ACU diaper bag made??

AND some chocolate. Haha!

snail mail

2009-07-22T07:16:00.000-07:00

So, remember how I said that sending care packages to my hubby overseas was one of my favorite wifely duties? It still is. But it is a lot less joyful when he doesn't receive the packages. Such as his Father's Day gift that I sent in plenty of time for him to get it by Father's Day....he still hasn't gotten it! That's not the only one that he hasn't gotten, but it's the most delayed.

There was a meeting with the battalion commander on Monday (he is home on leave). He generally went over what's happened so far, what's going on now, and what to expect closer to them returning. Then he opened the floor for questions and/or comments. So, I told me about the predicament with Aaron not getting his mail in over a month. He said he would look into it and email me, and that he hasn't heard of any complaints of people not getting mail. Maybe it's just cause I seem to have luck like that.

So, now that it's been brought to someones attention, maybe something will get done and he will finally get his mail...one could only hope anyway....

Counting down the days

2009-07-21T10:29:00.000-07:00

So, in less than 100 days I will be a mommy! I have 14 weeks left of my pregnancy. It is going by so fast! But that really helps the deployment to go by fast too.

Speaking of the deployment, we are now five months in! I think the rest will fly by. I am planning on quitting work September 25th. And I still have lots to do to prepare for baby Hannah. Of course Aaron will be home for two weeks in October and then I'll have the baby to take care of for the last portion.

I still can't believe how fast time goes. I am so nervous and excited about having my baby girl! It almost seems unreal.

JINX!

2009-07-16T08:53:00.000-07:00

I do not think I am the luckiest person in the world.

Monday I was talking with one of my friends who had gotten a jury summons for the fourth time. I told her that I had never had one, ever. And we were laughing and joking about it and I told her about Aaron getting one to appear on his birthday of all days! And I said something along the lines of, watch I'll go home and have one of those little papers sitting in my mail box. Well, I didn't. BUT...Wednesday I checked my mail, and guess what?? There it sat. Those people in the court system must have some awful powerful hearing, because I swear they over heard me and put one in the mail that same day. So, anyway I have a jury summons for August 10th. Yay (please note the sarcasm here). I totally jinxed myself!

I'm really not so pissed about getting the summons, but don't you have to be a registered voter to receive one? Well, I know for a fact that I registered to vote when I got my driver's license right after we moved here. So I tried to vote in the presidential election last November and was told that I was not registered, and that it was past the deadline to do so. But now this thing popped up in my mailbox so I'm a little peeved that I did not get to vote and yet still have to serve jury duty.

Over the hump

2009-07-15T07:52:00.001-07:00

So today marks five months since my hubby left for Iraq (which then turned into Afghanistan). We aren't over the deployment hump, but we have made it over the hump to R&R! Woot woot! Approx 97 days til I get to see his face!

Yesterday I had my 24 week ob/gyn appointment. Things are looking "fabulous" according to my doctor. Blood pressure is great, fundal height is right where it should be, I gained eight pounds since my last appointment (I don't know if I really feel great about this, but she did), and the baby's heartbeat is 152. And the reports from the extra ultrasound that was preformed came back. That extra tissue is scar tissue from the D&C I had with my miscarriage, and they got clear pictures of Hannah's spine. Everything looks normal. So I can stop worrying (for now). Four weeks til my next appointment then I start going in every two! I can't believe I'm nearing my last trimester! Ahhh! Time is really going fast.

kids (part 2)

2009-07-12T09:43:00.001-07:00

Hahahahaha! This little girl is too funny!

kick my ass

Bad day

2009-07-09T15:10:00.001-07:00

So my husband called me from Afghanistan today and told me that their vehicle had been hit by an IED. A few guys were hurt but no one was killed, thank God! He didn't go into much detail about it, so that's basically all that I know. I'm just glad that everyone is pretty much okay, and that their injuries will heal and nothing is permanent.

But I was obviously upset by this. It's scary, and I think until it happens to your loved one or someone you know, the whole situation isn't that real. So I was crying after we got off of the phone. My boss asked me what was wrong and I told her. She tried to comfort me a little, but wanted to know if I would be able to finish the day at work. Um, yeah I can but that doesn't mean that I want to sit at my desk all day and pretend to be happy and listen to patients problems when they call. I have my own stress to deal with.

Did she offer to let me go home? No. That's fine, because I can handle it. What pisses me off about it is this other girl I work with. First of all she one of the laziest people I know and will find any way to get out of her work. Basically she is a piece of shit. Two weeks ago someone at work "hurt her feelings" so she left early and even took the next day off! So why is it that she can whine and get special treatment, but I have a legitimate reason to be upset and don't get shit?! It's fucked up.

Day 2

2009-07-08T10:11:00.000-07:00

of MJ! AHHHHHHHH! Please turn it off!

The lady I sit next to at work listened to stuff about MJ for eight hours yesterday! And now today she is listening to it again. Oh.My.God. Get a life!

I do feel really bad for his family, but honestly I think there are many people who parish every day that don't get the recognition that they deserve. He's being treated as if he's the president of the United States! Furthermore, I don't feel like it's much of a tragedy because he died from abusing a medication used during surgery. So it's kinda his own fault. Seven American soldiers were killed in Afghanistan Monday and their names weren't even mentioned in the media. They died for our freedom, what did Michael do? I think our country's priorities are seriously not in order!

Four wonderful years

2009-07-07T07:13:00.000-07:00

This year July 7th is a very bitter-sweet day for me, because it marks mine and Aaron's fourth wedding anniversary. It is happy that we are celebrating our marriage, but it's also sad because I cannot celebrate it with him. We've had good times, and bad times, and survived a 16 month deployment and are now currently surviving a 12 month one. Our relationship has, by no means, been perfect. We have both made mistakes, but at the end of the day no matter how mad we've been, we still are in love. I guess maybe that's what true love is, being able to love someone despite the hurtful things they have done. I honestly cannot believe that it has been four years since I became Mrs Aaron Billings, time has really flown by, but at the same time it feels like its been so much longer because of all that we've accomplished in that short amount of time.

So, anyway I would like to tell my husband, Happy Anniversary Babe! I love you and miss you so much, and even though we cannot be together at this time I know we are always together in our hearts. Being your wife is the most important job that I have ever had. Being separated is hard, but I love knowing that you picked me to wait for you, stand by you, and support you through it all, and please know that I always will. Your love is always worth the wait. *muah*

July 7, 2005

Pregnancy moment

2009-07-05T11:27:00.000-07:00

So I had a pregnancy melt down this morning. Actually it was about an hour ago.

Anyway, in case you don't remember, Aaron has been relocated to another place. He left last Tuesday and I haven't heard from him since then. I have been anxiously awaiting his call. Two of my other Army wife friends, whose husbands are with mine, have both heard from theirs and told me that they were going out on a nine day mission. And that they thought they had left this morning. I was so pissed because Aaron hadn't called, and I couldn't even imagine that he would leave for that many days without even telling me...and to top it off our anniversary is Tuesday! I was furious that he was being so inconsiderate of his pregnant wife who he knows is waiting for his call.

I decided to use all of that negative energy to do something productive, like mow the lawn. So I was outside for all of 15 minutes, and when I came back in I had a voice mail from.....AARON! I broke down hysterically crying because I had missed his call and been so angry with him all morning. I called one of my friends, and she was like, girl, you're just pregnant and emotional...I have never seen you get this upset about missing his call! She's probably right, but I hate missing his calls especially on the weekend, because when he calls during the week I am usually at work and it's very hard to talk (remember the inconsiderate bitches?).

So, hopefully he calls me back in the next few days, because I really miss his voice!

20 things about 20 people

2009-07-02T14:53:00.000-07:00

1. I really think you are a slutty bitch. You change your mind from day to day about what you want from your life, and nothing ever makes you happy. You are one of the most self-centered people I know, and I feel sorry for your spouse, who you are clearly using. You still party like you're in college. You are way to immature to be a mom because you put your wants over the kid's needs. It's obvious to everyone around you how you have such low self esteem. Grow Up!

2. You are one of the kindest people that I know. You have the biggest heart and are always there for your friends. You are one of the few true friends I have because I can tell you anything and know you will never judge me. I'm so glad that you came back!

3. We have been friends for so many years, and even though I made some mistakes when we were younger that could've ruined a friendship, you forgave me, and that's what true friends do. It makes me so sad that we live so far apart and don't get to see each other often. You make me laugh more than anyone else I know!

4. I love you, despite how much you've hurt me. Some of your actions are not entirely your fault, but you really need to get some help. You had a bad example of how a relationship should be, and unfortunately is has affected our relationship. I really feel sorry for you, because I don't think you see what you have done. I hope one day you will realize how much damage you have done.

5. I have never met you, but I love you more than anything in the world. I hope that you always know how much you mean to me and I never let you down. Your existence is everything that I ever wanted. You will always come first in my life, no matter what.

6. As much as I want our relationship to be like it was, it never will be. I trusted you and you betrayed me. And I think you have settled on a life that doesn't make you happy, and I really don't know why. I wish you would get away from the people who are bringing you down, because you don't seem happy.

7. You are the most two-faced person I know. It is obvious that you are so unhappy that you can't be happy for anyone else. You have such low self-esteem that you are incapable of making decisions for yourself, and are in need of constant approval. I honestly don't know why your spouse married you, much less stayed with you for almost 20 years. You are a bitch and you need to be on medication because you have serious emotional problems.

8. I really care about you, but I think that you are immature sometimes and don't know how to deal with real world problems. I really thought that we were going to be good friends, but now I don't know if I still feel that way.

9. I am in love with you. I have always loved you, and I always will love you, that will never change. I really wish that I could tell you how much you meant o me, but it's hard because of our past. I also think you are making a huge mistake but no one can make that decision for you, but yourself.

10. You are one of my best friends and we are so much alike. Sometimes I think you know me better than I know myself. You are always there for me, but don't hesitate to tell me when I'm being a fuck up. Sometimes I need tough love though and you give me that. I feel like we aren't as close as we used to be because of our busy lives and the distance between us, and that makes me sad.

11. Where do I begin with you? You have made so many mistakes that have shaped my adult life. You weren't supportive when I needed you the most. You were supposed to give me unconditional love and support but you failed. You were always judgemental and nothing was ever good enough, and it still isn't. I learned a lot from you about what I don't want to become. I will always have anger toward you and nothing you do now can change that.

12. I think you are narrow-minded and ignorant. You give stupid advice that no one in their right mind would glisten to. It irritates me just to hear you talk. I think you failed your child and they have suffered because of it. They don't know how to show love because you are such a cold person and didn't give them the affection that they deserved. I am glad that I only have to deal with you a few times a year.

13. You don't have your priorities in order. You let your spouse dictate everything you do in your life and I don't understand why you are married to someone who is so needy. Our relationship has really suffered because you never stood up for yourself.

14. I wish I would've never met you. You are controlling and abusive. You are the biggest dick I know and I hate you. It's really sad how stupid I was about our relationship, because I am better than that and deserve more.

15. I am really glad that we have become such good friends. You have helped me so much since Aaron's been gone. I do think you need to quit partying so much and have different priorities. But you are a great person and I hope we are friends for a long time.

16. We didn't get to spend as much time together as we needed to. I miss you every day and need you so often. You set the greatest example I had in my life. You were really like a mother to me, and I love you so much.

17. I don't know why I was ever friends with you. You were always a hypocrite and thought everyone else was so wrong yet you were doing stuff that was even worse. You made every one believe that you were so perfect, but it was just a huge lie. I'm glad that I moved away and got away from you.

18. Your life is so sad. I hope that some day you figure out what you want from life. You had so much potential yet you got involved with the wrong people and ruined your life. I wish that we could've remained friends and I could've helped you before it was too late.

19. You make me happier than most things in my life. I wish I could spend all day with you every day! Having your companionship has helped me so many times and I can't bear to think of you getting old. You always make me smile.

20. I don't think anyone knows the real you. You find it very hard to really trust people. Some of the people you have loved most in your life have hurt you the most. I don't know if you will ever be really happy, but you seem to accept things the way they are even though you always wonder "what if." You are too scared to take that chance that could make you happiest. It's sad that you might spend your whole life never knowing true love.

Brrrrrrrr

2009-07-02T11:46:00.000-07:00

It's time to break out the snow suit! The A/C at work is set as low as it will get...below 50! Do you want to know why? Cause I work with a bunch of fat menopausal bitches! Just because you're having hot flashes does not give you the right to make me suffer for eight hours a day by sitting at my desk shivering! Be considerate to the other people who are in the room, seriously.

follow-up

2009-07-02T08:55:00.001-07:00

So I had my follow-up ultrasound on Tuesday. Little Hannah is a mover and a shaker! I feel her move all the time, but seeing how active she is in that tight little space is unreal! Anyway, the ultrasound tech couldn't really give me and info on the tissue that's growing, but she did show it to me. I won't know any more about it until my 24 week appointment - which is still two weeks away! So I am hoping for a good report.

While I was having the ultrasound done I thought I might have this tech confirm that I am in fact having a girl, just to be on the safe side. She said that she is positive that my baby is a girl...so now it's time to paint the nursery pink! I asked her for more pics, cause hey who doesn't want as many pics of their unborn child as they can get? She was kinda snotty about it and told me that I should've gotten them at my last appointment, which I did. But I mean while you're looking around in there couldn't you just get one good shot of her face? Her daddy is deployed, I'm sure he'd like to see them too since he is pretty uninvolved in the whole thing. So she took one, which was pretty blurry, so I'm not even going to bother posting it. And she had been sucking her thumb and it was just the sweetest thing, but of course the tech didn't bother to capture that Kodak Moment.

And yesterday I bought my crib! It's being ordered and should be here in 7-14 days. I'm super excited, here is a pic of it.

KIDS

2009-07-01T14:14:00.001-07:00

So during the day when I'm at work I don't do much, I'll just be honest. And while I am sitting at my desk not doing much I watch videos on YouTube to keep away the boredom.

I just had to share these, they are too cute!

Spinach/Spanish

Injured Bad

ABC's of ME!!!!

2009-06-30T10:39:00.000-07:00

A-Age: 25
B-Birth date: January 16, 1984
C-Chore you hate: folding laundry
D-Dog's name: Maggie, Macy and Eddy
E-Enter or Exit: depends on what it is I'm entering or exiting.
F-Favorite color: pink!
G-Gold or silver: Silver, white gold, or platinum (my personal fav)
H-Hair color: Brown w/ blonde highlights
I-Instrument: I can play the flute
J-Job Title: phone operator...soon to be stay-at-home army wife and mommy!
K-Kids: Hannah Erin, due Oct 27th
L-Living arrangements: just me and my doggies til baby Hannah arrives and Aaron returns from deployment
M-Monkey or Moose: Moose
N-Nicknames: don't really have any
O-Odd thing about you: I like to eat peanut butter on my pancakes
P-Pet Peeve: clothes left lying on the floor that belong in the dirty clothes hamper, same goes for dirty dishes that belong in the dishwasher
Q-Quote from a movie: i don't have a favorite
R-Right/Left Handed: Righty Tighty
S-Siblings: none (thank God, cause my mommy still spoils me!)
T-Time you wake up? work days 0640, weekends when Aaron calls about 0800, every other day about 0930
U-Underwear: currently wearing maternity thongs -- the most comfortable undies EVER!
V-Veggie you dislike: asparagus
W-What makes you run late: me! I really hate getting up early in the morning, so therefore I get up at the last minute and am late, often.
X-X-Rays: Teeth, both legs,both hips, arm, idk what else
Y-Yummy food you make: my chicken and dumplings are pretty bomb, not gonna lie!
Z-Zoo Animal: penguin

Mental Health Day

2009-06-29T14:03:00.000-07:00

Today I called in sick from work because I have an upset stomach. I am sure the cause of this is nerves, so really it' more like a mental health day to save my sanity.

Nothing ever really goes wrong when my husband is home. But of course, as soon as he gets on a plane to fly across the globe someone casts a spell on me that makes my life hell. And then everything goes wrong. Everything that I cannot fix and need him for. Such as my air conditioner.

Yep that's right. My a/c stopped working yesterday. So I called the person that I always do when in a crisis. My daddy. Since he is over a thousand miles away it's hard for him to diagnose a problem that he cannot see. He walked me through a few things to try to decided that it must be a blown fuse. Of course I had to wait until Lowe's opened today, because it was after closing time when my crisis occurred yesterday. I worried about it all night. Mostly I was worried about something else being broken with the a/c rather than the fuse. Something that I was incapable of fixing myself and would have to pay an arm and a leg for someone else to repair.

So, first thing this morning I went to Lowe's, got a set of fuses and came home, installed them, and voila! IT WORKED!!!!! Ten bucks later I am cool as a cucumber sitting at my desk typing this blog! I am ever so thankful that I didn't have to pay someone hundreds of dollars to fix it, thanks Dad!

I am going to spend the rest of my mental health day doing other things around the house that I have been putting off. Change the filters for the air-flow system, drag out the ladder and change the light bulbs in the fixture over my stairs, install a new front porch light that doesn't look like it fell out of the 1980's, put up our American flag for the 4th of July....you get the point! Today will be way more productive than if I had gone to work.

My baby shower

2009-06-27T22:47:00.000-07:00

Today my friends here in Colorado Springs had a baby shower for me! It was lovely, pink everywhere! We ate, played games, and opened presents. I got so many nice gifts. I have such wonderful friends who really have become my Colorado family.

I would like to give a special thanks to Jenn and Taylor for putting it all together! You girls are the best!

A couple grapes short of a fruit salad...

2009-06-24T09:58:00.000-07:00

I don't know if the stars are in a funny alignment or if it's a full moon or what, but these patients are driving me nuts! My job consists of answering the phone and transferring it to the appropriate party. So I talk to almost every one that calls this office. And there are two people today who have pissed me the eff off.

The first one was a woman who needed directions to our office. First of all it annoys me when people call and say, "I need directions." Um, okay, from where??? There are about a million different ways to get to our office from any part of town. Use your head people, think before you speak!!! Anyway this dumb bitch (yes I said bitch, cause that's what she WAS) called and needed directions. Of course I had to ask her where she was coming from, so she told me, and she was really only about a block away, but I needed to know which direction she was traveling in (ie north, south, etc.) so that I could tell her which way to turn. She snapped at me, "I don't know where I am or what direction I'm heading!" Well, for those of you that aren't from here or have never been here, Colorado Springs is like the the last place you would ever get lost. It sits at the bottom of the Rocky Mountains (which are west)...so that is a huge indicator as to which direction you are traveling. They are always west and they will always be west, so as long as you passed third grade geography you should be able to figure out which way north or south are. So then I asked her if the mountains were in front of or behind her. "Ma'am, you are confusing me, I don't know what the mountains have to do with anything!" So I then explained that the mountains are west and in order for me to give her accurate directions I need to know which way she is traveling. So, after we got that all sorted out, and she seemed to understand how to get here (she was less than a block away) we hung up. She called back. THREE times!!!! She needed directions on how to get into the parking lot (I am seriously not kidding) and where to go once inside the building, after I had told her a few times that we are in suite 200. And she wanted to know which floor that was on. Um, all suites starting with a 2 are on the second floor...duh! I am assuming that she was capable of opening her car door and walking through the parking lot into the office, but that might have been too difficult.

So then the second genius to call our office within an hour of us opening was this man who hadn't taken a dump in 3 days! Oh my God, call the FBI! And he went on, and on, and on about it! So I explained that the person he needed to talk to was in with patients and I couldn't interrupt her unless it was an emergency. His mommy called back. This man is 50 friggin years old! My co-worker then explained that due to patient confidentiality he would have to call himself. What she really should've told her was that since he needed his mommy to make his calls for him, she should give him an enema and wipe his ass for him too! Those two have called, oh about seven times today, and it's not even lunch-time.

Wow, I am SO ready for this day and week to be over! I seriously do not have the patience to deal with these dumb-asses!

sleep deprived

2009-06-23T07:59:00.000-07:00

Me with less than eight hours of sleep = one cranky bitch! For some odd reason I can't sleep a full eight hours at night. I wake up like a million times to pee, due to the pregnancy, but then I can't go back to sleep! I laid in bed for over an hour this morning trying to fall back asleep. Eventually I did, but it took forever. Now I'm tired and at work, and people are already driving me nuts! And, needless to say, I don't want to be here.

One of my favorite shows is Jon & Kate Plus 8. I don't know how many of you follow the show, but it's about a couple who has two sets of multiples from IVF. Anyway they have been in the tabloids a lot in the past few months with a lot of scandal going on in their marriage. So on the show last night they announced that they are getting a divorce! This made me so sad. One of the reasons I love the show so much is because they are a family, and even though they aren't always perfect they still stuck together and loved each other at the end of the day. Until now. So, I'm not sure if I still want to watch the show.

Anyway, on a more positive note, my friend Jenn has joined the blogger community! She is recently engaged and moving back to the Springs! She will be here on Thursday and I cannot wait to see her! So go check out her page!

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

2009-06-22T10:09:00.000-07:00

Good Monday morning folks! I had a pretty good weekend, got some R&R, spent time with friends, was productive around the house. Aaron called Saturday morning pretty early, but after we talked I was able to get a few more hours of sleep (which, by the way, is one of my favorite things to do!). Then I went to see The Proposal with Sam the Army Wife. We met through our blogs and live in the same area, so we thought it would be cool to meet. We had a few minutes before and after the movie to chat, of course being that we read each other's blog, we pretty much are up-to-date on the recent happenings in each other's lives! The movie was super cute and funny. I defiantly recommend watching it. After the movie I went home and mowed the grass. Not the highlight of my weekend, but that's where the productive part comes into play.

Sunday I went shopping with my neighbor Sam and left my car at Sears to get the oil changed. We had fun, bought a few things that were on sale. I got to eat an Auntie Anne's pretzel, which I have been craving for quite some time. So it was time to pick my car up. When I dropped it off I left the keys with some little guy named Jose and gave him all of my information, including the fact that I would be needing a military discount. At six o'clock when I picked it up an older man assisted me with checking out. He rang me up and gave me the total, at which I politely responded, "Oh, don't I get a military discount?" He then got a disgusted look on his face and his tone immediately changed, "You should've told me that before I rang you up!" I explained to him that I had told Jose (besides it was right there on my paperwork). "It doesn't matter, you should've told me!" He shouted. So then he began typing away on the keyboard, and wanted to see my mil i.d. The whole process of applying the discount didn't even take him two minutes, but he acted as if we had to stop production and call in the national guard! I mean really, he needs to rethink his career choice to work in customer service!

So, this morning I get to work and check my yahoo email and facebook and I have a friend request from a girl, Brittney, that I was in the Navy with! I cannot even tell you how excited this makes me because after I got out and was moving around we lost contact. I have searched for her a few times and have never been able to find her. Here is a picture of us from my last day in Virginia when we were saying goodbye. Brittney is the one on the right, I am in the middle, and our other friend Crystal is on the left.

SSG Billings

2009-06-19T11:07:00.000-07:00

finally called!

Poor baby is sick. But he said that he went to "check out" the place where they will be relocating to (yet again). He said that it's even shittier than where they currently are. I mean no electricity for a week at a time and a flooding tent of 300 guys isn't as bad as it gets?! I just cannot even imagine. He also said that I can expect to hear from him even less than the two times a week that he is calling now! Oh. My. God. This whole thing just keeps getting worse and worse. He said that they hadn't checked out the internet, so I'm praying that it's an improvement to what he has currently, and we can use that for communication. I know, it's doubtful, but I can at least hope.

On the upside, the Army has successfully managed to waste 1/3 of the deployment by not knowing what the eff is going on. He has barely been on any missions, and as far as I'm concerned that's great! I know he hates just sitting around all day, but at least he is safe. And I'm okay with that.

Four months down.....eight more to go!

I scream

2009-06-18T07:57:00.000-07:00

For ice cream!!!!! HAHA!

I do not know if the combination of pregnancy and summer are good for me. Or for my pregnancy weight-gain anyway! I crave ice cream. ALL day, EVERY day. So far, my favorite flavors are Baskin Robbins chocolate-chip cookie dough (which I keep stocked by the pint in my freezer), rocky road, and vanilla with strawberries, chocolate syrup, and toasted coconut. But really, any flavor will do. I could eat this sweet, creamy, frozen goodness for every meal, and snacks too. Especially on a hot day. I have so much in my freezer, I might as well open up a 31 flavors right out of my kitchen! I have always loved ice cream, but this has become an obsession! And it's probably a good thing that Blue Bell doesn't sell ice cream here (this is an ice cream company in Brenham, TX). They make the best ice cream on the plant! Instead of my monthly weight-gain being 2.5 lbs, it would be more like 10 lbs!!!! I would probably eat it by the gallon every day, no joke. If I wasn't at work all day Mon-Fri I could visualize myself parking my expanding body on the couch and eating it from the time I wake up until I go to bed, and then probably having it as a mid-night snack too! Haha, just kidding (I hope).

Another odd craving of mine is bratwurst with sour kraut. Don't ask me why. I have never eaten a brat in my entire life until now. And I eat them at least a few times a week for dinner. I don't know why I can't get enough of them. I guess sour kraut is this pregnant woman's pickle.

And now that I have written an entire blog about the foods I love most from my desk at work, I am starving! Of course neither are accessible, so I will have to look forward to going home and having them both for dinner! Yum!

I've seen better days.

2009-06-17T09:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my 20 week OB appointment. I did not get the same fabulous report from my doctor this time. Now as far as I know, nothing is seriously wrong. But they want to do another ultrasound to look at some tissue that is growing on the bottom of my uterus. And the doctor also said that they didn't get good pics of the baby's spine. I am hoping that this isn't just a nice way of saying, "We think something is wrong with your child, but don't want to tell you until we are positive." My next appointment is in four weeks. I guess if anything was seriously wrong she would've wanted me to come in sooner. Let's hope anyway. Speaking of my next appointment, I went to the appointment desk to schedule it, and was questioned as to whether or not I am in fact expecting. Also, they told me that they had me as being 21 weeks pregnant with an estimated due date of Jan 20. Ummmm, NO. This is something that they do every day, they should be able to look at at that information and just know that if I am half-way through my pregnancy it isn't possible for me to be due in 2010!!! And I had to call radiology to set up the other ultrasound for two weeks from now. I called and was told that someone would call me back by 1830, they promised. Did anyone call? NO. Fuckers. So, I had to call back this morning again. Really, the people that work there aren't that bright.

AND my husband was supposed to call yesterday after the appointment because he said they were going on a three day mission. He didn't. Which is totally unlike him. But besides the fact that I waited for his call, I want to tell him about the appointment and now I can't til at least Saturday. UGH!

Ewwwww

2009-06-15T08:35:00.000-07:00

I checked my Google Analytics this morning and someone had found my page via "baby bump - porn." Oh My God, that just creeps me out! AND they visited my page twice! Seriously, people have some weird fetishes. Gross.

OH MY GOD!!!!

2009-06-14T19:46:00.001-07:00

I accidentally washed a pink and white tie-dyed dress with all my white/light clothes!!!! How do I get the pink out of them????

HELP ME!!!!!

2009-06-12T21:48:00.000-07:00

Okay, so now that I know I'm having a baby girl I am trying to figure out how I'm gonna decorate her room. I have found two bedding sets for her nursery that I love. And I love them equally, so I'm having a hard time deciding which one I want to get! So, I thought I would post them on here and let my lovely followers help me decide!

Pink and Green Paisley

or pink and green flowers???

Your opinions and comments are greatly appreciated!!!!!

Thanks.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

2009-06-12T07:52:00.000-07:00

So we got to do the VTC yesterday! I wore a cute little outfit (that he's never seen) and did my hair and make up. I looked pretty hot, not gonna lie! Anyway, they were having technical difficulties on his end (go figure) so he could see me okay but couldn't really hear me. He said I sounded like a robot. I had to practically yell into this microphone and speak slowly. And there was a delay from the time I said something to when he (sorta) heard it. But on my end everything was crystal clear and I could hear him just fine. It was almost like sitting across from him having a conversation! But it was hard because I kept having to repeat myself, and we only had 10 minutes so we really didn't get to say very much.

He asked me why I didn't bring the dogs, and I told him that I had come from work. And he said he could see my baby bump and that he's excited about our baby girl. I was so happy to see him and everything was just great! At the end of our conversation we were saying goodbye and he thanked me for coming (like I would miss it!) and blew me a kiss. That's when I lost it! I started crying and the soldier that was in the room operating the system gave me a hug. I don't think Aaron saw me because he had gone by that time.

But it was great and I hope that we get to do again sometime!

Gripe

2009-06-11T08:30:00.000-07:00

I'm still sick of people's opinions. So now that I have found out my baby's gender people usually ask if we have decided on a name. So then I tell them, Hannah Erin, usually explaining the meaning behind Erin. And I have been told that they don't like that name, or Hannah is too common, or this would sound better for a middle name. Um, excuse me? First of all I didn't not ask if you like the name, nor do I care. And since this is not your child, you don't really have any say in what we name her. Didn't your mother ever tell you that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!

Okay, so my house has been taken over by moths. I don't know how they got in but they are in every single room of my house! How do I get rid of them?!

And I am STILL sick. This cold sucks and it has got to go! Going on day 9.....

A soldier's little princess is on the way!

2009-06-10T13:53:00.000-07:00

Aaron called this morning! He was very anxious to hear the news from the ultrasound (he had known that I was having the appointment to find out the gender). So I told him that he's gonna have a daughter! I don't think he was all that surprised because I told him that I felt like she was a girl before. We had decided on her first name months ago, and I asked him today if he knew what her middle name was going to be, and he said no. I told him Erin, after him, but the female spelling. He really liked that a lot. It probably made his day! So, we are very excited to meet our baby girl Hannah Erin!

Also, I received an email from the FRG leader. Sometimes I read them, sometimes I don't. Usually the information in them doesn't pertain to me. Well, I actually happened to read this one, and it's a good thing I did! It was about a video teleconference (VTC) and listed the names of the soldiers who signed up to participate, and number two was SSG Billings. Well, SSG Billings hadn't informed me of any such thing! And it's this Thursday! So when he called, naturally I was inquisitive about the whole thing. He said that he hadn't mentioned it because they still didn't have a date....I was like, "Well babe, it's tomorrow!" Of course, no one had informed them of it, because it's the Army and they never do....Anyway tomorrow night I get to talk to my husband live and see his face for 10 whole minutes...OMG what am I gonna wear?!

It's a.......

2009-06-09T21:17:00.000-07:00

GIRL!!!!!!!!

The ultrasound tech saw three lines, which means it's a GIRL! When he told me I asked him how long he had been doing it (13 years) and how many times he had been wrong ("maybe half a dozen"). Hey, I needed to know his accuracy rate! I still haven't been able to tell Aaron because he hasn't called yet...soon hopefully.

Oh, and I didn't pee on the table, even though I had to go so bad that it hurt. I was literally shuffling my feet when I walked because I thought my bladder was gonna burst. He let me go half way through, thank God! And my kidney's hurt from the water-overload.

The longest day in history!

2009-06-09T08:18:00.001-07:00

Today is gonna be the longest day of work for me, EVER! I have my ultrasound appointment tonight at 6:30, in which I will be finding out the baby's gender! So today is already going super slow. But this will hopefully be the last blog that I write in yellow! And hopefully the ultrasound tech gets it right! I have heard too many horror stories from people who were told their baby was one sex and then it came out and it was the other!!!

Okay, so I have one confession to make. This whole time I have been pregnant I have "felt" like I'm having a girl. Now, ultimately I just want a healthy baby. Maybe I would be a little more excited about a girl because let's face it, they just make way cuter clothes for baby girls. And pink is my favorite color. But I don't really care either way. However, since I have felt this whole time that it's a girl I'm afraid that if they tell me it's a boy I might not have the best reaction. Like what if I get upset? Also, with the whole girl thing, we decided on her name right after I found out I was pregnant. We still cannot agree on a boy's name. So if it's a boy I'm gonna feel guilty! If the ultrasound tech tells me it's a boy I don't want me initial reaction to be disappointment. But I honestly think that I might feel that way, just a little bit. And that makes me feel horrible!

Another fear of mine is peeing on the table while I'm having it done. They insist that you drink like 36 ounces of water one hour prior to the exam and you cannot "void" until after it is done. Being pregnant makes me have to pee all the time anyway. I am worried that I won't be able to hold it for that long, especially while they are pushing on my abdomen! Oh my God! How humiliating would that be? Funny, but still embarrassing. All this talk of pee makes me have to pee! Ha!

So the next blog I post will let you all know what I'm having! Ahhhhh I can't believe this day is here already!!!!

I'm BAAAAACK!!!!!!

2009-06-08T21:40:00.000-07:00

I can define the cruise with just one word. Awesome. It was the best vacation of my life, minus the fact that I wasn't with my husband. Had he been there, then it would've been perfect.

It, however, didn't start off the best.

Flight 1 from Colorado Springs to Dallas - woman with cat on board who meowed non-stop. I. Hate. Cats.

Flight 2 from Dallas to Miami - 40+ non-English speaking teenagers on the flight. 'Nuff said.

Taylor's suitcase got lost.

But after those little incidents we pretty much had a blast all day, every day.

Day 1: fun day at sea. Sat by the pool and read Tori Spelling's new book, which I have been waiting to read for like two months since I bought it. Also drank pina coladas (non-alcoholic of course), very refreshing!

Day 2: Massage and Grand Cayman. Saw THE funniest thing ever!!!!!

Day 3: Beach at Isla Roatan, Honduras. It was paradise there! Perfect temperature in the shade and a nice breeze. The water was crystal clear!

Day 4: Snorkeling in Belize. Snorkeling was fun, but this place must be hell. It was hot. And humid. If I never have to go back there, it would be too soon!

And I swallowed about a gallon of sea water. I still managed to get some stupid cold, even though you would think all of that salt water would've killed any germs!

Day 5: fun day at sea. More pina colada drinking and laying by the pool.

Day 6: Key West, Florida. Glad to be back in America!!! It's much cleaner, and I can finally use my cell phone. Missed getting calls from the hubs.

So, it was awesome and I highly recommend it! Carnival Cruise Lines was great and they have the best chocolate mousse cake that can be delivered 24 hours a day by room service. I think I miss that the most! I enjoyed that little piece of heaven every night but two!

Two more days and I'm outta here!

2009-05-28T09:55:00.000-07:00

That's right folks, I'm gonna be MIA for the next week! I just wanted to write one last blog before my big adventure.

So, the hubs called this morning. Not the best conversation we've had since he left...I absolutely broke down! Now, since many of you do not know me, I do not show emotion very well, especially sadness/crying. If need be, I can be a stone wall. But I have held it together for as long as possible. I have kept myself busy and my mind occupied for over three months now, and I just couldn't take one more second. I am so tired of this deployment and I just want to see my husband. Lets not forget that I am pregnant and hormonal and emotional anyway, so I think holding it together for three months is pretty good considering my state. But I hate that our conversation wasn't all rainbows and butterflies. Cause I know that me having a break down like that doesn't help his morale. Ugh, 145 days til I get to see him again!

I *heart* my mom! She bought me a new nifty vacuum! A dyson animal one to be exact. It's supposed to be at my house today and I can't wait to get home and use it! I have never been so excited to vacuum in my whole life. Haha!

So, I will be gone until June 9th. I will give all my wonderful followers an update on my lovely vacation (w/ pics!) when I return. Don't miss me too much!

And then the rains came

2009-05-26T10:41:00.000-07:00

Today begins week 18 of my pregnancy, and it is day number 101 of Aaron's deployment. It also happens to be day 5 of this ridiculous rain that we've been having. Colorado is generally a pretty dry place, and in the warmer months we often have wild fire warnings. Now with all this rain it means that I don't have to pay to water my lawn, mother nature is doing it gratis. But enough is enough! After being cooped up inside for the entire winter I am ready for some fresh (dry) air! So, rain rain go away, come again some other day! I also leave for my cruise in four days...I am praying that I don't see one drop of rain while on vacay. All of this rain has made me look forward to the sunshine and sand even more. This rain has over-stayed it's welcome!

people

2009-05-24T12:16:00.000-07:00

I am really not a people person. Most people just annoy me. And it seems that I have even less tolerance for them now that I am pregnant. Really, I just hate people in general, but some of them piss me off more than others.

I know this one person who always whines about their husband being gone. And he is only gone for a normal work day, never over night. Um, hello, I feel privileged when my husband gets to just work a normal eight hour day and come home...which is rare! Usually he works 10+ hours on a regular basis. Not to mention getting called in on the weekend, or going to the field for multiple nights, NTC for a month...and deployed for a whole year or more! And someone might argue that I knew what I was getting myself into when I married a military man, yes, in fact I did. That's why I don't complain about it. My choice is not for him to be gone, but as all you other Army wives know, you are, and always will be, second to the Army. I also have more pride in what my husband does than ordinary people, because he is a real, true hero. But please, don't complain to me about "missing" your husband for eight or nine hours, because you really have no idea what missing someone feels like. When your husband misses almost every one of your anniversaries and birthdays then come talk to me. But until then I really have no pity or sympathy for you!!!

i heart 3 day weekends!!!

2009-05-21T08:23:00.000-07:00

So, the cheap-ass doctors at Front Range Orthopaedics (aka FRO) have decided to give their lovely employees a paid, three day weekend! Now, in my opinion, I think that every weekend needs to be three days, and we might as well take the whole damn week off for holidays! But anyway, that's besides the point. I have so much planned for this weekend, mostly getting R&R, and (finally) cleaning out the baby's room - which my husband has been using as his own personal army-and-hunting-gear storage facility. Guess what? His crap is being relocated to the garage, along with the hideously ugly gun cabinet that he acquired on our last trip to visit his family in NY (no, not the city, I am not that lucky...some hick-ass town with more cows than people). Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a country girl at heart. After all I am from Kentucky, but I guess when you have lived away from those areas for a few years, it's just really comical when you go back to visit.

I also plan to get some yard work done (well, if it doesn't cut into my R&R time, you know I don't want to exhaust myself!). Oh, and remember the neighbor I was complaining about with the barking dog? Well, I briefly talked to her the other day and she offered to have her son mow my lawn since Aaron is gone and I am preggers. All this time I really thought she was an evil bitch, but she's actually really nice!

I am SO looking forward to all the things I plan on getting done, especially the few hours of extra sleep!

20 days and counting!

2009-05-20T07:36:00.000-07:00

After seven unsuccessful attempts to make my 20 week ultrasound appointment, someone at radiology finally decided to make June's schedule and I will be able to write my baby blogs in either blue or pink! So my appointment is June 9th at 1830! Also, I have been feeling my little peanut moving around, mostly at night.

So, Aaron finally called! He had been on a mission for a week. That is the longest that we have gone without communication since we met. It was a very long, painful week for me. I gave him all the updates on the pups and the baby and he told me that he had been sleeping outside and hadn't showered since the last time we talked. Poor guys! It was so great to finally hear his voice!

Maggie and Macy both went to the vet yesterday afternoon. Maggie's foot was re bandaged and it must stay on for another five days, and Macy was examined and given pain meds and an antibiotic to prevent infection. She is doing much better now that she has been taking them, she's eating and walking around like normal. So $200 later (damn, I could've done some retail therapy with that money...) my babies are (almost) as good as new!

When it rains it pours.

2009-05-19T07:27:00.000-07:00

Now I have two doggies down! My little Boston Terrier, Macy, was attacked by another dog yesterday afternoon. My poor baby has cuts all over her and she is so sore that she can barely move. I let her sleep on the pillow next to me last night and she didn't even move once. I feel so sorry for her! I cleaned and bandaged her wounds, but if she doesn't improve by tomorrow I'm gonna take her to the vet. I really hope she is okay, it would break my husband's heart if anything happened to her. I am debating on whether or not to even tell him because I know he will be upset.

I will write an update on both dogs in a few days...hopefully they both get better quick!

My Poor Pug

2009-05-16T10:51:00.000-07:00

Oh My God!!!!! I feel like the worst Mommy alive!!!! My precious pug, my pride and joy, and current sleeping partner (until Feb anyway) has been injured....and it's all my fault! Maggie's toe nail was completely ripped out, and I am the one who did it. We were BBQing at my neighbors and she and I sat down to eat our delicious dinner and I scooted my chair forward to get situated at the table and all of a sudden I hear the most heart-wrenching squeal. It was Maggie, and blood was gushing from her foot. Of course I immediately jumped up to save her, and then I saw it....her toe nail laying right in front of my chair! How could I have been so careless? I called my friend, Lori, who works at a vet. She told me how to stop the bleeding, but also said that if it didn't stop I would need to take her to the ER vet. Luckily I followed her advice and was able to get it to stop using peroxide to clean the wound and corn starch to stop the bleeding. I bandaged it up over night and woke up numerous time to make sure it hadn't started again.

So, first thing Friday morning I called Maggie's vet, which is on post. They open at 0730. I called and hung up, called and hung up nonstop until they answered.....at 0815!!!! At which time I was told that the doctor isn't even in on Fridays! So why the hell are you even open?! Anyway, so then I had to frantically call like 10 vets before I found someone who could see her as soon as possible because I still had to go to work. We went to the vet and she cleaned the wound and re bandaged it more securely and gave her antibiotics to take for a week to prevent infection, Her nail should grow back in about two weeks.

Here my baby is $70 later: